I haven't written a blog in like 150 millenia. Insane. I'm only writing one now cause I'm at home on a Saturday night due to extreme sickness. If it weren't for this crap flu thing I wouldn't be writing anything in this noob blog... I've kind of gone off it lately. Just can't be bothered with it. The lack of comments doesn't really help I guess. My blogs average like 2 non-me comments or less (no this isn't me trying to make you all comment more).
Anyway I don't actually know what I came here to write. I s'pose I'll just ramble on about the going-ons of my life and in my head...
First of all, this uber sickness. I think it's like a cross between a really really bad cold, an uber migrane and the black plague. It's literally like there's a demon inside of me stabbing tiny needles into every part of me he can, plus some big ones in my head and throat, and then stealing all my heat to make the fire on his tail bigger. I try to cough him up but he just sends his mucus allies instead. What a dickhead. I hate him. My mum said if he wasn't gone on Monday we'd get him exorcised by the man in the white coat.
Even worse than all of that though, is the fact that my social life since Tuesday has consisted of Nick Gill coming over for like 20 minutes cause his soccer practice got cancelled. What's the bet that tonight is the night that someone has some insanely awesome party where all the hottest celebs turn up - Suzy Cato, Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochery, Al Gore, the on-fire guy from that old Rexona ad... It hurts just thinking about what I could be missing. What if they have lots of yoghurt? Or even worse - lots of passionfruit yoghurt! Oh my god, I think I'm going to kill myself - what if they have a giant 50,000 litre bowl of it, and it's full of Keira Knightley clones? Ok Rowan, calm down. Just breathe. They could be having a crap night too. They might all be sitting at home on their own, watching some crappy Saturday night movie... And their Keira Knightley clones are rubbing their feet...Wait. What the hell?! This ends now.
Next topic of conversation. Something a little more... intense. I've been thinking heaps about like the darker side to humanity. Like in this book I read a while ago, the author (whose name I can't remember, nor the name of the book) mentioned that humans need to have the freedom and ability to bring down their lives at any moment. He didn't really mention many details as to why, but I would guess that it gives us a larger sense of freedom. Like being able to rebel against the things that control us in our day to day lives. I guess it would bring a sense of satisfaction too. I know when I was depressed there was always something so weirdly satisfying about watching myself crumble to pieces. And I constantly had thoughts about blowing up in public - I still do. Going psycho and yelling and screaming, hitting people (Anton ALWAYS gets hit lol), and just generally creating chaos. Sometimes I vomit everywhere too, just cause that's hilarious. Anyway I don't really know where I'm going this. Back to the darker side of things I guess...
Another thing I was thinking is how you can't have light without darkness. Well, no, that's not completely true, but light without darkness would just be constant light, so you wouldn't really notice it. That's a pretty obvious thing to say, but has pretty huge implications if you apply it in certain places. Here's a quote which explains things reasonably:
And you can apply that to any dualism pretty much. You can't have good tastes without bad (or worse) tastes. You can't have good looking people without ugly/uglier looking people. You can't have hot weather without cold/colder weather. You get the point. What that means is that all the bad stuff in this world is necessary, and conversely, not technically bad. If it's not happening close to home then bad stuff makes us feel better (a lot of the time). We all have this desire to see bad things, not to deal with them ourselves (though I wonder whether we might), but to watch them from a distance. Cliche question, but why do you think the news is so full of tragedy and chaos? It's because we enjoy it, we buy it. Why do you think we all love watching shows full of drama, like soap operas? Because, true to the name, they're full of drama and we enjoy that. Some people say it's sadistic that we like to watch pain and suffering so much, but I don't think it has anything to do with sadism, but something quite different. I think it helps us to be comfortable with our own lives and to enjoy them more.
It all makes me question the whole idea of heaven. No pain, no sadness, only love, happiness and fun. When you think about it it's a completely flawed concept. How can happiness exist without sadness? Like I said before, it's a dualism. One must exist in order for the other to exist. Without any of the bad stuff heaven would just be bland.
Basically, what I wanna say is, it's the fact that our world is flawed - that we as people are flawed that makes life beautiful. I'm starting to dislike idealists more and more because they try and make everything fair, when in reality unfairness is just a fact of life which should be embraced. It's NEVER going to go away. I say take life as it comes and don't try to mould things to some preconceived notion of how they should be. That's not to say sit down and do nothing when you get hit with something crap.. Just don't constantly try and iron out every tiny wrinkle just so you can try and reach your idea of a perfect life. It's the unfairness, unpredictability and crapness of life that makes it fun. I could rant about life for a bit more, but I won't.
None of the above is based on any real evidence by the way.. Just my thoughts.
I have a plane to catch!
6 comments:
ok, so you have some weird ideas of an awesome party, passion fruit yogurt and Keira Knightley clones. lol.
but back to your serious talk there. you could argue, according to your other blogs that ironing out those wrinkles in life is quite possibly the purpose of life. life is unfair, its true. and nothing we do could change that. yet the fact is that we (humanity) are constantly trying to. of course it isn't really the sole purpose of life. there will always be manipulators who make the wrinkles bigger to suit their own ends. heres an idea that i really liked from skins. how cassie said that a lot of people in that mental hospital found a kind of freedom in being called crazy. and i fully understand that concept. the fact that life is unfair, yet they no longer need to play by the rules, no longer need to keep trying to iron out those wrinkles.
okay, if you can follow my thinking I'll be quite happy as i made another one of my illogical logic jumps in there.
and watching pain and suffering from a distance.... sounds very similar to a tool song. lol. and i have nothing to add on to that cas i agree with it all. lol.
and you talking about how you haven't been writing a blog for a while reminds me of me. i wrote a journal at least once a month for around 4 years. i've still got it. but i haven't written for a like 5 months. funny thing is that i read my last entry and the last thing i wrote was "i'm just going down to dinner now. i'll write more when i get back" pretty long dinner. but i think i may just go and write that now. cheers rowan:)
Ok first id just like to say i love stephen sooo much hehehehe. Also, im sure all of us MUST have thought about vomiting everywhere in public at least once in ours lives. Just going for it completely, but for no real reason, just a bit of good ole chaos hehe.
I completely agree that we have a need for duality in our lives. In the end our emotions are just relative, so if we have nothing bad to relate them to.......then i guess everything would just feel bad.
Going back to your other point about our need to have the freedom to bring down our lives, i guess we could expand that to say that we have a need to have freedom in our lives just in general. Of course if we come to accept that there is no free will then there cannot be any freedom. This poses a problem, as the need for a sense of freedom appears to be ingrained into the human psyche. I guess maybe, in the end, being able to bring down our lives may be a last ditch effort to exert some control over our lives and experience a sense of freedom.
Anyway good blog bro, i hope you do continue to write them ey
keep on trucking
ps i dont care what other people say, i love your idea for a party, lets make it happen! hehe
hey ro
what im about to say probably will sound kindof emo haha but in my mind its actually quite positive.
this comes from the artist in me which is actually quite a big part (believe it or not) but just as u said rowan the bad things are beautiful in the truest sense of the word. i mean there is something so breathtaking in the perfect tradgedy... why else would romeo and juliet be one of the most famouse love storys of all time? i think pain is something that is so much apart of being human that it touches something in the very core of us that makes us feel....alive i suppose...wow that sounds soooo emo but think about it (as you obviously have) rain is so good because it makes us truely appreciate being warm in bed and heartbreak is so necessary because it helps us to understand the preciousness of love...if we couldn't fail then there is no true acomplishment in success...in a way this makes pain lovely...and to top it off i have a quote;
"parting is such sweet sorrow"
Lol It's not emo. It's being realistic. I agree with everything you've put there. I hate it when people constantly complain about life (though I obviously do sometimes) because it's never gonna change. This world is all that will ever exist for us, so I guess in a way it IS perfection because it can never be better or worse. Or something.
Agree with you about the crazy thing Stephen. Have you ever been to a party but not been drinking? For some reason, even though you're not the slightest bit drunk, you still seem to feel that enhanced sense of freedom - the disintegration of inhibitions. Obviously not to the same level, but it's interesting how it happens. It's like because you have the excuse that you could just be drunk, you automatically allow yourself to act more like yourself. So in the situation you gave, you have the excuse of craziness, so you also have the freedom to be yourself and have the things you do written off as crazy.
That was long winded, but hopefully you get my gist.
Agree with everything you said Tim. Especially that we should make the party happen :D
This reminds me of an episode of Kim Possible i watched lol.
There were two twins who could see the future and one twin could see only good things and the other could see only bad things.
The twin who could see only good things was really sullen and depressed because when you could see everything good that was going to happen it took the joy out of life. The twin who could only see bad thing was really really happy because she had everything good in the world to look forward to because anything by comparison to her visions were good.
Good old Kim Possible.
mmm is that kim possible or american dragon?
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